Love Is Kind, Not Nice
God is love. God is kind, not nice. He would much rather offend us with tough truth now, so that we walk in the light, than see us destroyed in our delusion.
When Jesus speaks words that cut to our heart, He is usually speaking on a different level than the level at which we are hearing. We try to interpret His words based on what we see and know. He is speaking based on what He sees and knows.
Consider the rich young ruler who asked Jesus how he might be complete in righteousness. He was obeying the commandments of God, but he must have felt distance between his heart and Christ’s. Why else would he ask such a question? Scripture tells us that “looking at him, Jesus felt a love for him,” but His answer was devastating! “‘One thing you lack: go and sell all you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me,’” He said (Mk. 10:21).
Immediately we think, “Jesus, really? Why? Isn’t this guy keeping all the commandments? Your answer is so extreme!” We argue, trying to interpret His words based on what we see and know.
But Jesus is speaking based on what He sees and knows. Luke recounted that “at these words he was saddened, and he went away grieving, for he was one who owned much property” (Mk. 10:22). Jesus knew the young man’s heart was entwined with love for possessions, and that desire for material gain had such sway over his soul that he was deceived.
What Jesus may ask you or me to leave behind may be different. But Jesus never asks us to give something up without offering something better in exchange. He invited this young man to gain possessions which would never be destroyed!
So we have a choice: we can argue with Him based on what we see and know, or, we can humble ourselves and ask Him to tell us what He sees and knows.
We’ve all argued. It’s a very natural, human response. The prophets did it. We do it. The Lord is familiar with our struggle to comprehend His way of thinking. He listens as we spout off arguments. Then He waits to see if we will listen. Will we be quiet, and ask Him to tell us what He sees and knows? Will we let Him define the terms, reveal our motives, break in with light?
I see myself in my four-year-old daughter. She displays the struggles of my own soul in vivid color. She strains to understand why certain rules or disciplines are in place. To her way of thinking, the world would be a lot better place if I as her mother would just leave off. But I see some things she doesn’t see. Likewise, I struggle to grasp God’s goodness in His disciplines. When I struggle, I have not grasped the severity of my sin and where it would take me if He left me to grow in it.
Jesus triumphantly rejoices over budding virtues in my heart as though they were mature plants. He also points out the seedlings of wickedness in my heart in a tone I’d only expect if He were looking at evil when it is full-grown! It’s not that He’s not patient. He is—so much more patient than any of us—but He sees what is in our hearts, and He knows where those things will take us. “Nothing crooked” comes from His mouth (Prov. 8:8). He does not exaggerate to make a point. Neither does He minimize truth to lessen its sting. The Bible teaches that “faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Prov. 27:6). God is our true friend.
As I learn to listen to Him, I echo the prayer of the psalmist: “Let the righteous smite me in kindness and reprove me; it is oil upon the head; do not let my head refuse it” (Ps. 141:5). I will count such wounds as favor, Lord, not rejection. For You discipline those You love (Prov. 3:12; NIV).
All Scripture references, unless otherwise noted, are in the NASB.
